What Happens When You Quit Drinking For Three Years?

Here’s what heavy drinking vs. three years of sobriety looks like.

Before diving into the full journey, here are the biggest differences—physically, mentally, and beyond.

Before: A Life Revolving Around Alcohol

Staggering home from the bar again.

Smoking after the bar again.

Hungover again. An existential crisis, depression, and healthy dose of anxiety.

My Sundays looked this way, without exception, for over a decade.

I wasn’t a daily drinker, and seldom drank alone, but did I have a problem? Probably.

Drinking was deeply woven into my social life, my stress relief, and my identity.

Nights out with friends, networking events, celebrations—it all revolved around booze. I thought it was normal.

Over time, I started noticing the negatives creeping in. The constant sluggish mornings, the nights I barely remembered, the money wasted on bar tabs.

More than that, I started to feel like alcohol was holding me back from who I wanted to become.

I was numbing myself instead of facing challenges head-on.

I knew there would be advantages of quitting alcohol, I just didn’t know how drastically my life was about to change.

Why I Quit Drinking, and Why It Sucked (At First)

Aside from feeling held back from my potential, alcohol was starting to make me really fucking anxious.

My theory in hindsight is that I developed a dysregulated nervous system following years of heavy abuse.

To accompany my drinking, I liked to use drugs, porn, sex, and any vice I could get my hands on to escape and numb.

This in turn made my central nervous system sensitive—drinking no longer felt euphoric and pleasant, but instead fucked me up in a bad way.

Why Is Quitting Alcohol So Hard?

The reasons most avoid/struggle to quit drinking?

1. The social aspect

2. Identity

3. No life outside of work and drinking

If you drink regularly, it’s likely that most of your friends drink.

If you spend the majority of your waking life either working or drinking, it’s likely your identity is attached to these things.

In addition, you probably won’t have many hobbies and things going on outside of these two core activities.

That was me to a tee.

And that was the precise reason alcohol was so hard to leave behind.

Because with it, I’d be leaving behind my friends, my identity, and my life.

Here’s the harsh truth: to quit drinking, you will likely need to rebuild your life… entirely.

This is precisely what I realized I needed to do, after some months of sobriety.

Quit Drinking Benefits Timeline: What to Expect Each Year

One Year Sober: Detox and Struggles

I quit drinking in October of 2021.

The decision followed a sloppy weekend of binge drinking in London.

That Monday, hungover and anxious as shit, I told my friend “I’m done with this shit.”

In contrast to the familiar “I’m never drinking again” uttered while hungover, only to return some days later…

This was serious.

My friend sensed my conviction, and said, “I know,” with confidence.

Back in the States, I’d start my healing process.

In tandem, I began to go to therapy, journal, commit to personal growth, and change (not for alcohol-related reasons, but to process much unresolved trauma).

First, the physical detox.

I was anxious, insomnia-ridden, and sweat my ass off when I did sleep.

A shit mood accompanied my anxiety.

You may be asking—how long does alcohol withdrawal last?

Answer: depends on the severity of use.

For me, following years of heavy drinking, it lasted a few months, but the intensity tapered off gradually.

My symptoms probably weren’t as bad as they could’ve been, as I’d slowed my drinking down in the prior year.

Quitting Alcohol’s Painful (But Needed) Lesson

Some months into my sobriety, I realized:

I had no friends, hobbies, or life.

I had a new girlfriend who was spending the month in a different state.

Before her, I’d attempt to fill alcohol’s void with women. But now, that wasn’t an option.

Work occupied me during the weekdays, but in the evenings and weekends, I was empty.

I started reading a lot. That helped. Then, I got the fun idea to quit my job and travel all of South America. I did it.

During that experience, the girl I’d been with and I broke up.

I was now fully alone again. No bars or happy hours to serve as entry points to meet people. No grabbing a drink with a woman as a date.

I’d have to build, sober.

Through that time, I became comfortable with myself and others, without alcohol.

Socializing, dating, and even dancing? All sober now.

And I got comfortable doing so—finally forced to truly confront the anxiety they brought, without a crutch.

Something I’d been avoiding for many years.

I was having deeper conversations, building genuine connections, and waking up fresh and without regret. Things were changing…

Two Years Sober: Rebuilding My Life and Identity

In October of 2022, I hit one year sober while still on my South American tour.

Around this time, I was feeling fucking great, physically.

I retreated to a cabin, alone, on the outskirts of Bariloche to begin designing my new life I’d return to in the States.

Perhaps others do this sooner into this journey, but I had to wander a bit first. Grow into my confidence, get to know myself a bit.

I designed the way my life would look upon my return to the States. I’d:

• train Muay Thai

• be in a men’s group

• mentor a kid in my community

• dance bachata

• and be committed to growth.

In addition, I’d continue growing the businesses I’d started in my void of outlets and distractions, without work or alcohol as pacifiers.

I got home after six months of solo travel, and did everything I said I would, and more.

Instead of joining a men’s group, I started one. I trained Muay Thai 3-4 times/week to offset my lifting program.

I danced bachata weekly, and began to mentor a local kid.

My confidence was on 100%, I was growing exponentially, and I was healthier than I’d ever been.

My circle of friends evolved. The people who only wanted to party drifted away, and I built stronger relationships with those who valued real connection.

Instead of bars, I found myself drawn to activities that actually aligned with my values—fitness, travel, deep conversations over coffee instead of beers.

It was at this point that things finally began to make sense, and my prior suffering began to bare fruit.

Three Years Sober: Never Looking Back

It’s been many moons since I’ve thought about alcohol.

Sobriety transitioned from something I was “doing” to an identity.

I had a clearer vision of my goals, a stronger sense of self, and a deeper appreciation for experiences unfiltered by alcohol.

Biggest reasons people go back to alcohol?

To fill the void quitting creates, of course.

Once the switch flips on your ability to do everything and more sober, you’ll never look back.

Socializing, unwinding, dating, making friends, hanging out with people, having things to do on the weekend…

Proving to yourself that you can do all of these things, you demolish the anxiety they once come with. It’s a new world.

People ask me if I’ll ever drink again, when they find out I don’t drink at all.

The answer?

I can’t predict who I’ll be or what I’ll want in the future, but I can say with certainty that I have no plans to do so.

I simply don’t need it—I feel fucking good, I’m free, and I can do everything I did back when I drank… only, a hell of a lot more.

I dance without worry about judgement. I strike up conversations with anyone. I make new friends, go places alone, and optimize my health.

The experience has shown me how much of society is built around drinking, and how deeply ingrained the idea is that alcohol equals fun.

Stepping outside that perspective showed me a different kind of fulfillment—one that doesn’t require numbing or escaping.

Benefits of Quitting Alcohol

Upon quitting, there were a number of benefits I experienced that I expected. But, to my surprise, countless benefits emerged that I hadn’t anticipated.

Expected Benefits of Quitting Alcohol

1. Better health
   
   The data is overwhelmingly clear here, and I don’t think I need to convince you. Have a watch of Huberman’s deep dive on alcohol, and you won’t argue this.
   
   In a nutshell, sobriety brought a healthier brain, hormones, skin, internal organs, digestion, immune function, and blood pressure.
   

2. Mental clarity
   
   Waking up fresh daily instead of foggy from the night before helped me focus on my goals. I recall one of my first weekends sober.
   
   I hadn’t slept in a weekend without having drank the night before since I could remember.
   
   The feeling of refreshed, mental clarity was enough to compel me to quit for life.
   

3. Improved mental health
   
   Alcohol’s status as a depressant tells us it will make us depressed. But, after being synthesized in the body, it turns into a stimulant.
   
   What’s this mean? Depression and anxiety.
   
   Countless studies confirm alcohol’s negative impacts on mental well-being.
   

4. Better mood and energy
   
   My mood was always shit on the Monday following a good binge (every weekend).
   
   In the office, my mindset was “please no one stop at my desk.”
   
   Sober, my mood and energy are more consistent. Consistently good.
   

5. Great sleep
   
   Whether creating insomnia or simply disrupting our natural sleep architecture, alcohol does damage.
   
   Even one glass of wine in the afternoon impacts our sleep the following night.
   
   In fact, a heavy night of drinking will affect the following several nights, not just the night after drinking.

Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Alcohol

From a journal entry in October of 2023, the month I hit three years:

“I expected things like the benefits of better sleep, more mental clarity, better health, ending the cycle of a weekly depression and anxiety on Sunday/Monday. feeling great in the morning nearly every day.

However, a number of unexpected benefits have emerged…”

I never thought sobriety would lead to me doing things like:

1. Becoming more social
   
   Faced with the option to never socialize again or finally confront the social anxiety I’d been masking with alcohol, I chose the latter.
   
   This led to developing genuine social confidence and skills, and blasted my fear of “I’ll never have friends again.”
   

2. Learning new skills
   
   Alcohol damages our brain’s ability to engage in neuroplasticity (the ability to change itself and learn).
   
   A night of drinking impairs the brain’s ability to encode what it learned that day.
   
   In tandem to no longer blunting my learning ability physically, I needed to acquire new hobbies to fill the void.
   
   This led to much learning, reading, and trying new things.
   

3. Making friends and deeper connections
   
   In contrast to my fear of never having friends again, I made a shit ton of new ones.
   
   I also found myself connecting in environments that cultivate more meaningful conversations, rather than the bar’s surface-level bullshit.
   
   Whether through a new hobby or simply because I’d become comfortable digging deeper, I was establishing higher-quality relationships.
   

4. Having great dating experiences
   
   “I’ll never get laid again!” my mind would bark at me when I’d consider sobriety. Given that I’d only ever been on dates to drink, and had sex after drinking, this was a valid concern.
   
   But, in my confrontation with social anxiety and fear, I learned to date sober, too.
   
   My creation of more meaningful connections extended to the realm of dating, as I met more genuine women and connected with them on a deeper level.
   

5. Becoming fully comfortable with myself
   
   Alcohol was always a way to blunt my discomfort in my own skin.
   
   No longer with this crutch, I was forced to confront it all… my past, my fears, and myself.
   
   Through this process, I became comfortable with the one person I couldn’t get rid… myself. Self-assuredness, confidence, and charisma were the product of this change.
   

6. A stronger sense of self and life direction
   
   In line with the previous point, I developed a stronger sense of self, having gotten to know myself a bit.
   
   My life became less aimless and pre-determined by society’s standards.
   
   I asked myself: what do I want?
   
   I formed a vision for myself, and later discovered my purpose.
   
   A hell of a lot better than chasing the corporate promotion, house, and car just because I’d been programmed to do so.
   

7. Facing fears
   
   Through my newfound ability to live outside of my comfort zone, and needing things to fill drinking’s void, I dabbled with some things…
   
   I learned to dance, ride motorcycles, travel solo, box, be alone, and level up—which in turn led to becoming a more interesting person.

How To Quit Drinking

Thinking about it? I want to boil it down to the no-bullshit, raw principles.

In order to quit drinking, you will need to:

• Be ready to rebuild your entire life, potentially make an entirely new friend group, and do everything sober (for obvious reasons)

• Learn to cope with stress and emotions in healthier ways, and learn new ways to “take the edge off”

• Design your new life to fill the void initially created by dropping a deeply embedded habit

• Get outside of your comfort zone and face your fears, every day.

These simple but not-so-easy principles will guide you to success.

They’re difficult upfront, but are massively rewarding and serve to transform your life in ways you never imagined. You’ll never look back.

Get at me on Instagram to share your story, and let me know how else I can serve—like more resources on sobriety, specific tools to quit drinking, or how to design a new life.

To your growth,