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- Facing 30 Fears in 30 Days
In This Article
“You’re not scared?”
“How are you so calm right now?”
“You do all of this sober?”
These are questions I’ve been asked countless times.
When that guy got stabbed in front of me. When I dance sober in front of strangers. When my phone, with my boarding pass, died moments away from missing a transatlantic flight.
But the truth? I am scared. Every time.
How do you overcome fear? How do you get rid of fear?
Fear never goes away—I’ve just become comfortable acting in spite of fear.
This article isn’t about being fearless. It’s about the exact opposite—embracing fear, diving straight into it, and becoming friends with it.
Here’s how I faced 30 fears in 30 days—and how it changed my life forever.
[This article is one of our 10 deep dives from the Grow Dangerously library.]
Binge Fear Facing: How To “Get Rid Of Fear”
At 25, I realized fear had been running my life for decades.
I was playing it safe when deep down, I wanted to take risks. Keeping my mouth shut when I wanted to speak up.
Dr. Glover’s quote sums it up:
“For [some] guys, fear is recorded at the cellular level. It is a memory of every seemingly life–threatening experience they ever had. To cope with these realities, [these guys] typically hunker down and play it safe.”
I’d dream of solo travel, public speaking, riding motorcycles, dancing, dating, and quitting my job—but never take action.
I wanted to be the lone coyote—riding solo, meeting new people, learning skills—but I couldn’t.
Here’s who I was before:
Scared, burnt out, frustrated, stuck, unfulfilled, resentful, drunk, and passionless.
So, I made a decision: I’d face every fear I could think of, one by one. Surely, fear would go away after that.
Here’s just a taste:
Toastmasters: Showed up uninvited, gave an impromptu speech to 60 strangers.
Quitting jobs: Twice walked away from corporate security, even when everyone told me I was crazy.
Group dance classes: Sober, clumsy, and fully visible to the world.
Therapy: Faced memories and emotions I’d been running from for years.
Boxing sparring: Got my ass handed to me by far more experienced fighters.
Solo travel: Navigated foreign countries where I didn’t speak the language.
Social risks: Struck up conversations with strangers, asked for forgiveness from people I’d wronged, and posted videos of myself online.
New skills: Started businesses, rode motorcycles, learned languages, and started acting.
Physical extremes: Whether jumping in the frigid Pacific or an ice bath, unleashing everything I had on the assault bike at 10,000 ft elevation, or taking lethal kicks to the body in Muay Thai, I conditioned myself to be resilient.
Each fear was a challenge. Some, I came away with a high, buzzing with adrenaline. Others put me on my ass and humbled me to my core.
Yet, the fear didn’t disappear—I just got better at walking through it.
The Turning Point: Breaking Free from Fear
The moment I realized fear no longer controlled me came when everything went wrong.
I was riding solo in remote Mexico on a shitty dirt bike. A tropical storm quickly swarmed in as I flew downhill with questionable brakes and a freshly slicked road. I had nowhere to hide.
Normally, I’d panic. My heart would race, my mind would spiral with worst-case scenarios. But that day, I slowed everything down. I stayed calm and made calculated decisions.
And then it hit me: I wasn’t paralyzed by fear anymore.
This wasn’t about bravery. It was about trust—trusting myself to handle whatever came my way.
The transformation wasn’t immediate. It was built one fear, one action, at a time.
What I Learned: Insights From Facing Fear
Fear is like a muscle. The more you work it, the stronger you get at handling it. Here’s what stood out to me most:
1. Cognitive Distortions: The Lies Fear Tells You
Fear is a master manipulator. Your brain throws out every excuse:
“I’ll fail.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“People will judge me.”
“I’m too old/young/awkward/unattractive.”
At first, I believed these lies. But over time, I started questioning them.
What if I did fail? What if people did judge me?
Would I survive?
Yes. Every single time.
When you step outside your comfort zone, these beliefs don’t just pop up—they scream at you. But facing them gives you the chance to dismantle them, one by one.
2. Action Over Outcome
Most of us measure success by results. Did I nail the presentation? Did she say yes? Did I look like an idiot at the dance class?
But here’s the truth: success is simply taking action.
By reframing my goal as leaning into fear instead of achieving a specific outcome, I started winning every time.
And that builds a lot of confidence.
Me giving a wedding speech—scared as shit, but from the looks of it… comfortable.
3. Judgment Is Inevitable—And Irrelevant
When you put yourself out there and take risks, some will judge you.
Did I embarrass myself a few times? Yes. Did people think I was crazy sometimes? Yes.
But I learned this: judgment is projection. People criticize others to deflect their own insecurities.
I stopped taking it personally. If someone hadn’t done what I was doing, their opinion didn’t matter.
The Aftermath: Life Beyond Fear
Facing fear didn’t just expand my comfort zone—it redefined my life.
I’m more confident, resilient, and connected to others than I ever imagined.
Here’s what’s changed:
Equanimity: In Latin, the word means “with an even mind,” to have composure in difficult situations. Lost your boarding pass? Broke your phone? Had a bad day? These things don’t faze me anymore.
Decisiveness: I make decisions quickly, even with limited information, because I trust myself to handle whatever comes.
Freedom: Life feels limitless. I’ve built businesses, traveled the world, learned new skills—all because I’m no longer trapped under the boulder of fear.
I was reminded of equanimity watching an interview with Marcus Luttrell, the Navy SEAL whose story inspired the movie Lone Survivor.
Stranded in the Afghan mountains with broken bones, a severed tongue, and no communication, he survived against impossible odds with the help of local villagers.
Perhaps it was SEAL training—or something deeper—that allowed him to maintain composure in the face of such suffering.
Watching him, I realized equanimity isn’t just about surviving the extremes. It’s a mindset, forged by practice, that can be applied to the everyday.
A killing machine—yet, with immense humility and equanimity.
How To Overcome Fear: By Facing It
Thinking about trying this? Here’s what I’d recommend, so you can learn from and avoid my mistakes:
Start Small: Don’t try to conquer everything at once. Build momentum with small wins.
Focus on Action: Success is acting, not achieving. You win by trying.
Question Your Thoughts: When fear pops up, challenge it. Is it true, or just a cognitive distortion?
Embrace Failure: The more you fail, the more you learn. Don’t fear it—seek it.
Give Grace: Not every experience will entail you crushing fears and looking like a movie star. It certainly didn’t for me. Give yourself grace when you make mistakes and don’t act smoothly.
Conclusion: Why You Should Try
We tend to look at the final product and assume it was like that all along.
People hear what I’ve done and assume I’m just a naturally bold, adventurous guy. Quite the opposite.
So, how do you overcome fear?
I fought, failed, and stumbled my way here, and I ain’t done failing.
But, I can tell you with certainty: the reward is worth the risk.
So, why not? That physical sensation of anxiety, the tight chest, the shaky hands—it’s temporary. What’s waiting on the other side of it? That’s permanent.
Go. Face your fear. I’ll see you on the other side.
Reach out with your fear-facing stories, and let me know how it goes. Godspeed.
If you got value from this piece, definitely share it with a brother to get more people facing their fears.
To your growth and travels,
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