How to Get Unstuck in Life (Find Direction When You Feel Empty) 🚀

I Feel Empty

“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment;

who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.” —James Allen

2:30 A.M.

Stumbling home from the college bar following an Irish exit (rather, an avoidance of having to tell people “no”—that I couldn’t party longer), my anxiety and depression had won.

Fighting against it all night (read: getting drunk out of my mind), I couldn’t numb the feelings.

I make it home, strip off my clothes en route to my bed, and fall into bed.

I don’t crash like an inebriated person might—my thoughts were too tornadic to doze off.

“Perhaps I’ll end it all on Tuesday. Yeah, Tuesday sounds good. Gun or pill? Hmm… gun sounds scary. Let’s do pills.”

I was no stranger to suicidal ideation, a term I later learned to describe my seemingly normal thinking patterns.

I was unhappy, empty, directionless, purposeless, and unfulfilled.

Journaling Prompts:

• In what ways have I coped unhealthily—and what emotions may have I been coping with?

Table of Contents

• I Feel Empty

• Feeling Unfulfilled—F*ck, I’m Feeling Stuck in Lif …

• How to Get Unstuck: in Life, Relationships, and Ru …

  • Confrontation is the Way

• How to Find Direction in Life

  • 1. Confrontation: How to Face Yourself

  • 2. Crafting Purpose

  • 3. Clarity of Vision

• Further Reading to Dive Deeper

Feeling Unfulfilled—F*ck, I’m Feeling Stuck in Life

Fast forward a few years.

I’m out of college and no longer drowning myself in alcohol four nights per week, only one or two now.

I no longer did drugs. I had a prestigious job in oil & gas, earning good money.

But I couldn’t avoid the fact that I was still feeling unfulfilled.

I felt stuck.

By society’s standards—I’d succeeded; I’d won.

A top-floor apartment in the nice part of town, a Jeep Grand Cherokee (douched out black rims to show I was edgy despite my clean-cut corporate look), and TONS of money funneling into stocks and savings.

A nice vacation a few times per year, dating girls here and there, plenty of friends—well within my comfort zone living in my hometown.

Yet—I felt utterly empty.

I’d chained myself to my new lifestyle, funded by oil money. The golden handcuffs were locked tightly to my wrists—to my soul.

Journaling Prompts:

• What am I holding onto that, if I gave up might enable me to get what I actually want?

How to Get Unstuck: in Life, Relationships, and Ruts

Let’s get to the good stuff; the actionable stuff.

The reason I felt—and likely the reason you feel—stuck and unfulfilled is simple:

• Avoidance of fear

• Avoidance of that which brings anxiety

• Avoidance of challenge and self-accountability.

This is an invitation to change everything.

I am not condemning your current way of living—and after changing drastically, I hope you don’t condemn your former self, as I did for many years.

So, the common theme in the above reasons for feeling stuck—avoidance.

The antidote—the antithesis—to avoidance: confrontation.

From sloppily drunk and suicidal college bro, to a stuck and burnt-out corporate drone, to a rageful and unfulfilled grown-ass man still acting as a boy…

Fast forward, years later:

• I’m backpacking solo through a continent. I then return to live in Colombia for a year.

• I transform from a burnt-out 9-5er to a self-directed digital entrepreneur.

• I acquire tons of new skills—boxing, dancing, motorcycling, Spanish, to name a few—as a direct consequence of head-on showdowns with my fears.

• I discover my purpose, craft a clear vision for who I want to be, and decide to live life on my terms.

Confrontation is the Way

Allow me to give you an example of confrontation being the answer, instead of more theorizing, pontificating, and strategizing:

Some men want to learn how to have more success in dating. Okay, that’s great.

But how do 90% go about it? Buying books, reading forums, watching YouTube.

They find themselves disappointed in the lack of progress and real change.

After countless day-game videos and courses, these gurus are drowning in it—yet, we still feel not much has changed.

What’s the missing piece? Confrontation.

Of fears, insecurities, and the real, dangerous world.

Journaling Prompts:

• What thoughts or beliefs are keeping me stuck?

• When do I feel the most empty or purposeless?

• What dreams or goals have I been neglecting?

[If you’re digging the whole “journal prompts” thing… grab a free PDF that’s packed with them shits… enter email —> it’s in your inbox STAT. 🫡]

How to Find Direction in Life

“Aimlessness is a vice…” —James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

Crafting direction is to put an end to our avoidance. This will require a few, interrelated things:

• Confrontation

• Purpose

• Vision

The idea is:

1. First, we’ll free ourselves from ourselves. No longer held back, we’re free to take flight.

2. We’ll figure out why we’re here.

3. Then, we’ll craft exactly who we want to be—and what our life will look like.

All the while taking action to go get it. Let’s break these down individually.

1. Confrontation: How to Face Yourself

The dating example is just one area of life that our concept of confrontation applies to.

But, it applies to every area of life. We will confront:

• Our fears—of failure, rejection, abandonment, judgment

• Our anxieties

• Our past

• Ourselves

Make no mistake—my internalized beliefs, fears, and scripts were the direct cause of my unhealthy coping, avoidance, and suicidal ideation.

They were the direct cause of my feeling unfulfilled and stuck in life.

I took it to the extreme to address my avoidance and set out to face every fear I had.

I’d had enough. Enough running away, enough of being controlled by my fears and past, enough of being stuck.

I started small—talking to strangers despite social anxiety, a solo trip, spending time alone undistracted.

This led to a momentum building up, and the eventual complete freeing of myself.

Escape the Comfort Zone

The idea underpinning all of this: expanding our comfort zone.

I challenge you to consciously get outside of your comfort zone as often as possible.

Talk to that stranger in the cafe. Go to that salsa class. Get into a new boxing gym. Talk to the pretty girl. Take some rejection. Work out when you don’t feel like it.

This active conditioning of ourselves to be able to manage discomfort and challenge works to free us.

As a result, our lives become drastically different—much richer, more vibrant, and more fulfilling—as we now have a sense of agency.

Journaling Prompts:

• What is currently my comfort zone; what’s outside of it? What are three ways I can consciously get outside my comfort zone—this week?

• What are my fears? What in my past might’ve led to me carrying these fears?

2. Crafting Purpose

“Purpose isn’t something we “find” sitting on the sidewalk. It’s intentionally crafted.” —Dr. K

Research tells us that a sense of purpose has far-reaching effects—not just profound psychological effects—but physical ones, too:

The million-dollar question: How do I find my purpose?

I’d argue this is an inward search and not an external one.

Meaning, cutting through social media, YouTube, and even articles like this to listen to what our minds are telling us.

The truth is, we likely already know our purpose—we just haven’t given ourselves the space to hear it.

“But CT, what the hell does that even mean? What steps can I take right now?”

Glad you asked.

Here are three things you can do that may or may not help you craft your purpose.

1. Cutting Stimuli
   
   With constant bombardment from external stimuli—social media, gurus, Netflix, YouTube, traffic, work, friends, texts, emails, etc…
   
   How the hell are we supposed to even hear what our minds have to say?
   
   Actionable step: get out of the city for a weekend, or ideally more time.
   
   BY YOURSELF, without distractions or screens, just be. For days on end.
   
   This very well could be the most pants-shitting-scary thing you’ve ever done—truly alone with yourself for perhaps the first time since childhood.
   
   But it WILL teach you something—and I’m hoping it holds keys to your purpose.
   

2. The Most Powerful Writing Exercise
   
   For me, I saw my purpose clearly when I did the Pennebaker writing exercise. I can’t guarantee the same results for you, BUT…
   
   This exercise is about unpacking our most difficult experiences in life. And oftentimes, our purpose is forged in our greatest pain.
   

3. Creating a Clear Vision
   
   Our vision for how we want our lives to look in the future holds keys to our purpose. Is it heavily supported by growth, service, love, community, family?
   
   Let’s dig into just that…

3. Clarity of Vision

This may be one of the most important thought exercises I’ve ever done.

It’s simple yet profound—because when you get clear on your vision, your actions naturally align with it.

The vision:

1. Set the Scene
   
   Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Grab your journal and a pen. Set aside at least 30 minutes—you might find yourself getting into it, and writing for an hour+ like me.
   

2. Imagine Your Ideal Future
   
   Picture yourself 10 years from now. Imagine every detail of your life as if everything has gone right. You’ve taken risks, made bold choices, and are living your most fulfilling life.
   

3. Be as Detailed as Possible
   

   • Where do you live? Describe your environment—city, countryside, mountains, coast.

   • What do you do for work? Are you creating, leading, teaching, traveling?

   • Who are you with? Who are your closest relationships—friends, family, mentors?

   • What does your daily routine look like? Morning rituals, work habits, downtime.

   • How do you feel? Confident, calm, driven, free?

   • What are you proud of? Accomplishments, projects, personal growth milestones.

Don’t just list these details—narrate your life as if it’s already real. Describe a perfect day from morning to night. Feel the emotions as you write. Be vivid, unapologetic, and specific.

It primes your subconscious to start aligning your actions with your ideal life.

Plus, it’s a powerful way to identify what truly matters to you—so you can start taking steps toward it today.

The idea is to revisit this writing once per year going forward.

When I did it the first time—a year after writing—I was shocked to see the progress I’d made towards my vision, largely unconsciously.

“And the unconscious mind, being the faithful servant it is, goes to work turning your thoughts into reality.” —Neville Goddard

Further Reading to Dive Deeper

“What the fuck, CT, you going to leave us with that??”

You know I wouldn’t do that…

Here are some books and more of my writings (if you dug this one) that are along similar lines, to add depth to your practice.

Books: Profound Mindset Shifts, Creating Purpose, and Getting Unstuck

[Note that these are affiliate links—at no cost to you, I could earn a whopping $0.50 if you make a purchase after clicking a link. Thank you.]

• As a Man Thinketh, Joseph Allen. This book was quoted twice in this piece. It’s a quick read, but very powerful.

• Dating Essentials for Men, Dr. Robert Glover. Not a dating book to “pick up chicks” as much as it is a guide to get out of your comfort zone and face fears.

Check out the Grow Dangerously Reading List—25 books every man should read—for more.

Grow Dangerously Resources

• The Grow Dangerously Library—top 10 growth tools that actually work, each with a deep dive.

• Facing 30 Fears in 30 Days—for the inner workings of fear-facing

• How to Escape the Rat Race—getting out of 9-5 to travel (or simply do you).

• Motorcycle Diaries, Colombia—for travel stories.

• I Think I Got My Nuts Back—newsletter post about agency and fulfillment.

Rinse & Repeat (Here’s the Sh*tty Part)

Here’s the fucked—and very annoying—part.

As we climb, we constantly find ourselves slipping back down a bit.

We’ll catch a rhythm facing daily fears, and as a result, feel a powerful sense of confidence and agency.

Then we’ll fall off. And thus—the cycle restarts.

Progress, regress, repeat.

But ultimately, the net result is a massive fucking gain.

Would I trade my current life of freedom, agency, and joy for my old life of being burnt out, empty, and unfulfilled?

Fuck no. And every last painful, anxiety-inducing experience that created that change was well worth it.

I still find myself coping in unhealthy ways at times, slipping into old thought patterns, and being tempted by old limits.

What I’ve found—there’s not a new solution each time this pops up.

There’s no cutting-edge research I need to read. All I need to do is revisit the basics. Go back and reinforce the fundamentals.

And in doing so, put my ego to the side and admit that while sometimes I feel like an all-star NBA player, I still need to practice my free throws when they get shaky.

If you liked the journal prompts in this article, check out the full FREE PDF of hard-hitting prompts. [Upon entering your email, you’ll be sent the PDF.]

If you’re on this journey or considering embarking, reach out on Instagram.

To your growth and travels,