The Real Reason I Moved to Colombia

If I had a dime for every time someone sent me one of those Instagram reels about Colombian women…

I’d have enough to buy a bandeja paisa for my hot Colombian date. Gotcha, bitch!

All jokes aside…

Risk my life for #cheeks? For real?

The Risking of One’s Life For Cheeks

Let’s get to the stats:

Mf’s definitely risk their lives for love, sex, and companionship.

Countless Western men in search of women get drugged, robbed, or killed in Colombia every year. Incidents and deaths have skyrocketed in recent years.

The hub of women-related murders? Medellín.

Where do I live? Medellín, papá.

I survived three months of gritty, enormous Bogotá. So I figured I could get by in Medallo (a nickname for Medellín).

Read through the Reddit forums about this city, and you will be shocked—and likely cancel your trip.

Whether it’s:

• The American guy “falling” from this 12th-story balcony

• The young man from the US getting set up and fed an overdose

• Or another American set up, kidnapped, and left dead by a river (even after his family paid his ransom)…

Shit is real out here.

Despite countless reports, men continue to flock to Colombia in search of exotic chocha.

The question: would I risk my life for exotic chocha?

Fuck no.

Check this out…

Some people think that if they can’t do well dating in their home country, they will magically crush it abroad.

Perhaps there’s a nugget of truth. Looking wealthy in poor countries, a foreign appeal, and a favorable outlook on gringos by some of the women, you at least stand out here…

But standing out can be dangerous. And that’s a risk I’m good on.

[Quick Announcement: I’ll be collabing with writers to cross-promote our stuff. The first is a fellow-Irishman. Except, unlike me, he actually has the accent. My guy runs marathons and is an expert in Stoicism.

He writes things like 5 Alternative Stoic Practices That Will Change Your Life.

Frank and I will likely co-write an article, probably about being Irish, Stoicism, and chasing marathon medals instead of women in Colombia…]

Now back to our feature presentation…

You’re overweight and 55

And you think the hot 25-year-old’s interest is true love? Fuuuck outta here…

While I’m no 55-year-old, I’m also not out of my fucking mind.

I’m not going to travel for women. That, my friends, is escapism.

There are women in literally every city worldwide. Yes, I know I am delivering new information to you. You’re welcome.

“But the girls are hot in Medellín”

I have bigger goals in life than validating myself with women, patna.

And I’m damn sure not traveling to the ONE place in the world where there is:

• Large-scale, organized crime that targets…

• Precisely my demographic….

• With death or best case clearing out my apartment.

The way I see it, you have Tinder on your phone in Medellín, you’re asking to get fucked. And not the good kind…

Why I Live In Colombia

Let’s talk facts. Given that I don’t drink or party, my outlets are health and nature. (Wholesome guy, I know.)

Where else can I enjoy an actual tropical rainforest while inside a city?

My morning walk takes place under a canopy of lush jungle with sounds of a river flowing and birds chirping. From the middle of a city of 2M+ people.

The city’s got free gyms. They are outdoor, well-equipped, and full of health-conscious people (usually with a boombox slapping a Feid playlist—good vibe tribe tings…).

The weather is pleasant year-round. As I say, when the weather is good, you don’t need shit to do—you just walk outside.

Other than the subset of murderers (which every city has—these ones are just more on my radar), the people are incredibly friendly.

I saw first-hand the impact of living somewhere where the people suck (*cough, VANCOUVER*). It takes a toll on your mental.

Here, it’s high-fives and sunshine…

I am a mountains person. Not beach. This city’s nestled in a valley, with mountains every direction you look.

A great public transit, super-walkable streets, and the world’s best coffee… and walking through said jungle streets to arrive to said coffee?!

So… can you still meet people, some of those being women? Of course!

You just can’t be delusional.

LatAm definitely ups your street smarts by 500%, in a Darwinian way.

Those that get caught up, get caught up. Those that adapt and get smart… survive.

Liveability Index—A Load of Shit

Vancouver consistently ranks top 10 in the Global Liveability Rankings—I call bullshit.

Fuck Vancouver, everyone I met that lives there (I stayed a while and met lots of people) doesn’t like living there.

[In today’s article, we are bullying Vancouver. Come on, join in…]

Medellin is the opposite. Ask any paisa or expat—they genuinely enjoy living here, despite it being in the shitter on those same rankings.

Even in Bogotá, often accused of being dangerous and overcrowded, I liked it. Always-crisp weather, high-altitude Andes, and tons to do.

Put it to you this way: you can take the pretty girls away—I’d still live here.

Everything Is A Projection

Dawgie… I stopped caring about what people think, say, and do/don’t do many eons ago.

But I had to set the record straight on this one, for the #haterz and #accuserz.

It’s simple:

Everything people do is a projection. This guy says I’m here to conquer shorties, I see right through to the fact that he’d kill to travel the world and date exotic baddies. He’s just too scared to make a move.

I will continue taking jungle walks and hitting the free gym—fuck all that other noise.

To your growth and travels, good sires and madams,