- Grow Dangerously
- Posts
- Unchained, Part 5: How to Stop A Pornography Addiction
Unchained, Part 5: How to Stop A Pornography Addiction
Navigating and Ending the Binge-Withdrawal-Preoccupation Cycle
CT Dool
March 28, 2025 • Read Time: 21 minutes
Just launched: Unchained, The Book—get the full system designed to quit porn for life, from someone who’s been through it.
You tell yourself this is the last time. But a few days later, you're back. The guilt. The foggy brain. The low energy.
You feel stuck—like you’re losing control of your own mind. Why am I being sabotaged—by MY f*cking mind?
So, how do you actually break free from porn? This guide is your roadmap.
Written by someone who’s tried and failed countless times, learning something in each failure, and only using what actually works to finally break free.
Table of Contents
Why is porn addicting?
In my view, there are a few reasons porn is so addicting, and that the addiction is so widespread.
Dopamine—massive spikes only rivaled by that of drugs.
Availability—free, online, secretive, limitless, all in our pockets 24/7.
Misunderstanding—whether normalized, misunderstood, or a lack of support available, porn addiction often goes unaddressed.
Men in particular are at risk here—highly visual in nature, and wired to go nuts for novel sex, we easily become addicted.
Porn addiction isn't just about habit—it’s a biological trap.
Modern, high-speed porn hijacks the brain’s dopamine system, keeping you locked in a cycle of craving, chasing, and crashing.
This leads to a diminished ability to experience pleasure from real-life experiences, requiring more extreme stimuli to feel the same effects.
Studies show that porn addiction mirrors drug addiction in the way it affects the brain, particularly in how it reinforces compulsive behavior.
Exposed to high-dopamine substances or behaviors, the brain stops its production of dopamine. Life becomes dull, grey, and depressing.
In tandem, porn also tanks serotonin, a less talked about chemical that affects mood, sleep, pain sensitivity, and even things like social status.
What are the benefits of quitting pornography?
Rather than focusing on deprivation, the real question is: What are the benefits of a healthy brain?
Dopa’s commonly-touted effects on motivation and drive are impacted, but more subtle are things like motor control, hair and skin health, and digestion.
Serotonin’s benefits of calm, measured risk-taking, and social connection also emerge.
The changes are nothing short of life-changing.
Physical Health Benefits
Better energy levels – No more random fatigue, big crashes, and low motivation.
Improved sleep quality – Low dopamine and serotonin disrupt sleep patterns.
Healthier skin and hair – Dopamine plays a role in cellular regeneration.
Healthier testosterone levels – Dopamine and testosterone are “like cousins” (Andrew Huberman says), and tend to rise and fall together.
Mental & Emotional Health Benefits
Increased focus and concentration – Dopamine plays a key role in concentration.
Reduced anxiety and depression – Serotonin has a pronounced effect on mood and wellbeing.
Less brain fog – Clarity returns as your dopamine receptors heal.
Greater impulse control – The brain physically strengthens in the areas that govern impulse control (the frontal cortex’s “Stop” system).
Confidence & Self-Esteem
Stronger sense of self-respect – Overcoming addiction = empowering
No more guilt and shame cycles – We’re no longer carrying these heavy burdens of failure and shame.
More motivation to pursue real goals – Energy goes into productive areas like career, fitness, and learning.
Greater desire to socialize – Dopamine is critical to the desire and ability to socialize.
More genuine attraction to real partners – No more desensitization to intimacy.
Deeper emotional connections – Dopamine and oxytocin (bonding chemicals) return to healthy levels.
Better communication skills – Confidence and presence improve as serotonin returns.
The Ultimate Benefit: Seeing Life in Color Again
One of the most profound effects of quitting porn is that small, everyday experiences become overwhelmingly joyful again.
Conversations are richer; that sunset is mind-boggling; you’re sitting outside after a workout thinking “I didn’t know I could feel this good naturally.”
Many people describe this shift as “seeing life in color” again—something most of us haven’t felt since childhood, before we were numbed by overindulgence in artificial pleasure.
Understanding the Addiction Cycle (Science Made Simple)
Addiction follows the three-stage cycle seen in substance abuse:
Binge/Intoxication: Watching porn triggers a massive dopamine release, and throws off the dopamine-serotonin balance.
Withdrawal/Negative Affect: When you stop, your brain experiences a dopamine crash, leading to irritability, anxiety, and cravings.
Preoccupation/Anticipation: Your brain starts obsessing over the next ‘fix,’ making it harder to resist urges.
Three brain areas associated with the phases of the addiction cycle.
It gets worse, check this out…
In that Preoccupation/Anticipation stage, the amygdala is more active, releasing heightened levels of stress hormones.
At the same time, the brain centers responsible for impulse control are weakened.
Thus, we have more powerful stress and negative emotions to cope with, while our ability to resist urges is diminished.
And you wonder why relapse is common…
How long does it take to reset dopamine receptors? How long does it take to recover from porn addiction?
You may be asking:
"How long until I feel normal again?"
It depends, but here’s the general timeline of recovery and what to expect.
The red areas are dopamine—you can see that it slowly begins to reemerge after drug use.
Weeks 1-4: The Withdrawal Phase
Your brain is adjusting to the loss of an artificially high dopamine source. Symptoms may include:
Mood Swings & Irritability – Your brain craves a dopamine hit and doesn’t get one. This can make you feel frustrated, restless, or even depressed.
Brain Fog & Low Motivation – Many report feeling sluggish, forgetful, and unable to focus.
Increased Cravings – Your brain pushes hard to return to old habits.
Flatline Effect – Some experience a temporary drop in libido, as the brain recalibrates its reward system.
Sleep Disturbances – Trouble falling asleep or vivid dreams related to porn/sex.
What to do:
Expect these symptoms—they’re signs of healing. View this time as a dopamine detox from porn.
Focus on daily movement, clean eating, and social interaction to aid recovery.
Journal your urges and emotions—this builds awareness of your addiction triggers.
30-90 Days: The Recalibration Phase
After about a month, your brain begins to balance out, but healing is still in progress. Symptoms:
Emotional Stability Returns – Less moodiness, better ability to handle stress.
Sharper Mental Clarity – Focus and productivity begin improving.
More Natural Attraction to Real People – Less sexual objectification, more genuine interest in relationships.
Testosterone & Confidence Increase – Many men report a surge in motivation, stronger presence, and even deeper voice tones.
Urges Are Less Frequent, but Still Linger – Cravings arise at random, but they don’t hit as hard.
What to do:
Keep building healthy habits (fitness, reading, socializing).
Stay vigilant for triggers—this is where many relapse, thinking they’re "cured."
Start setting goals beyond quitting porn—this is when real self-improvement begins.
Very important: PAWS (Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) can appear in this stage. You’d made progress and are feeling better, then BOOM…
You feel weak, low libido, anxiety, bad mood, no motivation.
This is a temporary nervous system recalibration, and if you lean into it, you will emerge on the other side better than ever. Do NOT be fooled into thinking you need to shock your system and relapse.
Beyond 90 Days: The Breakthrough Phase
By this stage, dopamine receptors have largely reset, and life feels different:
More Energy & Drive – Waking up feeling motivated and excited about life.
Deep Enjoyment of Small Things – Food tastes better, conversations feel richer, and even a simple walk outside is enjoyable.
More Social Confidence – Increased comfort around others, better eye contact, stronger presence.
Sexual Health Returns to Normal – Stronger, more natural libido, and real-life intimacy becomes more fulfilling.
A Sense of Purpose – You’re no longer ruled by urges—you’re focused on your mission, goals, and personal growth.
What to do:
At this stage, porn no longer feels like an option—because your life is too good without it.
Shift your focus to building an identity: Who are you now that porn is gone? What are you here to create?
🔥 Journal Prompts:
Where are you in this timeline?
What’s been the hardest part so far?
What’s something you’ve gained since quitting?
How to Stop Pornography Addiction (Step-by-Step Plan)
Step 1: Kill Destructive Mindsets, Set Yourself Up For Success
Part 1 of the Unchained Series was a deep dive into the destructive mindsets that perpetuate porn addiction—and healthier replacements.
Some of the most important mindset shifts:
Abstaining —> free for life
“Once I’m free…” —> living your already-free, amazing life, now
Avoidance of emotions —> confrontation of emotions
Aimless —> mission-driven
Fantasy —> reality
Ultimately this is an identity shift and a new approach to life altogether.
🔥 Journal Prompt:
What pain, emotions, or discomfort do you avoid by using porn?
Step 2: Decide Firmly Whether You Are Quitting or Not
For the longest time, I’d binge porn and then, caught in regret and despair, I’d tell myself I’d never do it again.
Though, deep down, I knew that I likely would. How could I let go of this awesome, endless flow of women?
Your mind knows when you’re full of shit.
We must decide firmly, deeply, and with conviction—and only do so once we are truly ready to quit.
Resources like Easy Peasy even suggest intentionally watching porn a final time as a sense of closure and to see it for what it is—actors, false intimacy, an industry.
I’m not sure I agree with doing that. I do recommend checking that book out though (it’s free).
🔥 Journal Prompt: Why Haven’t You Quit Yet?
What is porn giving you that you’re afraid to let go of?
If you continue this habit for the next 5 years, how will your life look?
If you quit today and never look back, what could your life become?
Step 3: Understand the Trigger and Relapse Cycle—and Understand YOUR Triggers
Just dropped: The Grow Dangerously Transmutation Protocol to kill urges.
The cycle of porn addiction, based on Dr. Patrick Carnes’s work, is as follows:
The Trigger
Fantasy
Ritual
Acting Out (Porn Use)
Numbing (Denial)
Despair (Shame/Anxiety/Depression)
Understand this cycle, and more importantly, understand what your triggers are.
Internal Triggers: Stress, loneliness, anxiety, boredom, depression, rejection.
External Triggers: Instagram models, TikTok, YouTube, women in the gym, being in the place you normally carry out your porn ritual.
This is critical because after the first stage of the cycle, and fantasy begins, it is very hard to stop the cycle from unfolding.
The brain’s reasoning and consideration of future consequences gradually goes offline as reward pathways light up.
🔥 Journal Prompts:
Become aware of your triggers over the next week. What are your internal and external triggers?
What is your porn watching ritual?
Step 4: Earned Dopamine
We want to strike a balance with dopamine.
If dopamine levels fall drastically, relapse is a risk. BUT, we can’t simply replace our addiction with other unhealthy things.
[Note: quitting ≠ healing. If you continue to binge dopa in other forms, your brain will not recover. Thus, that dip (PAWS, flatline) is a positive sign of recovery.]
In general, you’ll want as much natural, earned dopamine as you can get.
I’m talking exercise, cold showers, walks, nature, sunlight, socializing.
Hell, even things like coffee, pastries, and sex saved my ass at times, early in recovery.
Huberman’s “Managing Dopamine” toolkit has lesser-known tips like avoiding light at night and avoiding melatonin.
Notice the “natural” dopamine generally requires some effort—whereas “unnatural” dopamine arrives quickly and without much effort.
It’s important to avoid the traps of “I’m a recovering addict” or “Once I get to 90 days, life will be good.”
Remember—you’re already free, you’re already sexually healthy, and your life is already amazing. As a man thinketh, so is he.
Brain changes happen slowly and gradually. I know, it’s frustrating…
But think about how many porn watching sessions got us to this point. We must reverse this with consistency and patience.
You will recover, you will be better, and you WILL experience an amazing life.
🔥 Journal Prompt:
What activities will you engage in that promote healthy, earned (effort-based) dopamine?
From Andrew Huberman.
Step 5: How to Control the Urge for Sex; How to Resist the Urge to Masturbate
Navigating the urges and cravings that inevitably arise will be key to winning.
As the brain heals from porn addiction, it gets a great idea: watch porn.
If that’s not an option, it gets another great idea: have sex.
The "Go/Stop" System: The brain’s Go System (desire, pursuit) is heightened post-porn, while the Stop System (impulse control) is weak.
How to resist? Delay gratification, meditate, and redirect energy into productive outlets.
Craving to watch porn? Execute the GD Transmutation Protocol.
Urges dissipate in about 10-20 minutes.
This is powerful, because while experiencing an urge, your mind tries to convince you that it will never go away and the only way to get rid of it is to give in.
This is a cognitive distortion and NOT TRUE—I guarantee if you distract yourself with non-sexual activities or content for 20 minutes, it goes away, and you’ll feel relaxed once again.
Urge surfing technique: Observe the urge without acting on it—most cravings last 10-15 minutes before fading.
Cold showers, deep breathing, and workouts are pattern-disruptors that can strike down urges.
Now to the question: sex, or no sex?
Multiple schools of thought here. Some say it’s cool, some say it ain’t.
Just know that an increased desire for sex in the brain-healing period is common.
It’s driven by our addiction to constant flows of hot women and sex, reliance on sexual stimuli to cope, plus the brain’s still-recovering impulse control.
Others will disagree, but I believe that natural sex with a human can be healing and reconditions us for human-to-human interaction.
Plus, re-learning that rewards come with effort, risk, and navigating the complexity of real human relationships, might even be helpful.
Of course, when done in a conscious manner, rather than a compulsive one.
🔥 Journal Prompt:
What’s your go-to plan when urges arise? How does this change if things are not available at that moment? (E.g., the plan to call a friend is out because it’s late at night.)
In addiction lingo, a “slip” is a brief use of our addictive substance or behavior; a “relapse” is an all-out regression or binge.
Slips happen.
In addiction, with each successive attempt to quit, abstinence period and withdrawals, and relapse—everything becomes more intense.
Brain studies show that addicts’ brains light up more in response to porn than healthy controls.
Thus, each relapse creates more intense feelings, and the subsequent withdrawals are also more intense. I can vouch for this.
The response in the porn addict group was much higher, indicating much stronger triggers and urges. The same phenomenon is seen in drug addiction.
The key is to:
Prevent slips from becoming full-on relapses
Use slips as learnings—what triggered them, where our defenses failed, and how we can “become an expert on ourselves.”
That’s a term an addiction counselor I worked with used often—this idea that we know ourselves best, and thus can figure out what actually works for us.
The easiest way to guarantee that you relapse again is to make too big a deal of a slip and beat yourself up.
Shame is required to perpetuate the addiction cycle. Remove it, interrupt the cycle.
It’s frustrating when we slip, but maintaining grace and compassion with ourselves is paramount to recovery.
View the slip as a mistake, something all humans are capable of, and as an opportunity to learn and level up.
Final Takeaway on Porn Addiction: How to Quit
“Focus your energy on building the new instead of fighting the old.”
Your purpose, your mission, and your vision now govern. Porn, resisting, fearing relapse or withdrawals, or anything else—no longer.
This isn’t a “wait and see” recovery. This is war.
🔥 Journal Prompts: the free PDF packed with hard-hitting prompts to aid your porn addiction recovery journey. (Sent to your email after sign-up).
Addressing Common Concerns (FAQ)
How long does it take to recover from porn addiction?
Recovery varies:
Week 1-4: Withdrawal symptoms (cravings, low energy, brain fog).
30-90 Days: Mental clarity returns, urges decrease, emotions balance.
Beyond 90 Days: Higher motivation, stronger relationships, restored libido.
For a full porn addiction recovery timeline, see Unchained Part 2: How Long Does It Take to Recover From Porn Addiction?
How do you stop a porn addiction for good?
To quit porn permanently, you need
a mindset shift (choosing purpose over pleasure)
habit restructuring (removing triggers, replacing urges with productive actions)
long-term vision (focusing on who you’re becoming, not just abstaining).
Following a structured plan like the one in this guide is key.
Why is porn addicting?
Porn hijacks your brain’s reward system, creating massive dopamine spikes similar to drug addiction.
Over time, the brain reduces dopamine production, making normal life feel dull and driving the cycle of craving more extreme content.
This is reinforced in men by our natural inclinations of novel sex and visual stimulation.
How to control the urge for sex without relapsing?
Recognize that urges pass in 10-20 minutes—distract yourself.
Exercise, meditate, take a cold shower, or go outside.
Shift focus from fantasy to real-world attraction (relationships, socializing).
How to resist the urge to masturbate?
Urge surfing: Observe the urge without acting on it—it fades.
Leave your environment—get outside or around people.
Does quitting porn increase testosterone?
Yes, research suggests that abstaining from porn and masturbation can boost testosterone levels, improving energy, motivation, muscle growth, and libido.
Will my attraction to real partners improve after quitting porn?
Yes! Quitting porn rewires your brain to respond to real intimacy. Over time, attraction to real partners grows stronger, making relationships and sex more fulfilling.
What should I do if I relapse?
Don’t spiral into shame—analyze why it happened.
Identify triggers and adjust your strategy.
Get back on track immediately—progress isn’t erased by one mistake.
Can I quit porn without quitting masturbation?
Technically, yes, but quitting both speeds up dopamine recovery. Masturbation keeps the same neural pathways active, making full recovery harder.
How do I know if my dopamine receptors are healing?
Signs of recovery include:
✅ Increased motivation and focus
✅ More joy from simple experiences
✅ Stronger social confidence
✅ Less reliance on artificial stimulation
What’s the fastest way to reset dopamine receptors?
Eliminate artificial dopamine spikes (porn, junk food, social media).
Engage in natural dopamine activities (exercise, real social interactions).
Practice delayed gratification (meditation, cold exposure, goal-setting).
Man It Forward
If you got value from this guide, please share it with a friend if you know they’re struggling to quit pornography for good.
Don’t forget to check out my new book, Unchained: Quit Porn & Reclaim Your Mind.
Also, subscribe to the newsletter for deep growth insights (and the occasional dodgy travel story) weekly.
Don’t forget to apply for the men’s group that I’m co-leading, and reach out on IG if you need me.
To your growth,
Reply