I’m back south of the equator. Wait, is Colombia south of the equator? Fuck, part of it is, but Bogotá is most definitely north of it. Alright, I’m back in the Americas, the south part. While we’re learning fun facts, I should also point out that there is no “U” in Colombia.

This is my second time living here, after spending extended time here in 2024. Contrary to what any Colombian outside of the capital will tell you about the city, it’s great here. Crisp weather, high altitude, dark-green mountains towering and forming the entire eastern edge of the city. Fuckin’ vibe here man…

I’ve wanted to return ever since I left. Except, part of me would not allow that. In a state of self-criticism and lack of self-trust, I pathologized my desire to live here as “childish escapism,” or something I would be unable to handle. Through inner work (guided by my good friend, McAtee), I was able to build a sense of self-trust, self-permission, and a deep knowing of what it is that I want. Thus, here I am.

You ever seen Fight Club? Perhaps you saw it as a kid, teen, or young adult and it seemed like an edgy movie about throwing hands in basements. But, as you’ll see, it’s actually a compelling social critique that does the best job I’ve ever seen at portraying the Jungian concept of ‘the shadow.’

Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt’s character, represents everything that the Narrator wishes he was but is either socially conditioned or psychologically limited to NOT be. Free, dangerous, edgy, sexual, critical of the system.

In Jung’s work, he defines the shadow as the "dark side" of the personality, comprising repressed desires, instincts, and shortcomings that the conscious ego rejects. The movie is about integrating one’s shadow (told through the lens of fist fights, explosions, and mayhem), a critical component of self-discovery and evolution.

Beautiful piece, and its critique of American consumerism and materialism made me feel good about being able to fit everything I own into a duffle bag.

Shedding all articles of clothing, selling my car, and selling all of “my shit” wasn’t easy, despite it not being my first rodeo. Yet, there was a sense of simplicity and liberation in doing so.

Perhaps one day I’ll amass loads of shit, but for now, I’m light as a feather and free as a bee.

Many a man has uttered the words, “fuck social media.” I support this motion. Influencers, trends, virality, and your friend’s carefully curated highlight reel designed to generate envy and make you feel like you’re not shit.

I carried a background hum of “I’m a failure, I’m lost, I’m not doing enough,” for many moons. Until I realized this was an artificially constructed narrative based in comparison.

Social media by nature selects for the top 0.01% of wealth and beauty then throws it into our faces as if it’s the norm. It’s no military secret that women’s beauty standards, consciousness, and the investment into procedures has risen dramatically with the rise of social media, in parallel to a drop in self-esteem. As men, we tend to adopt unconscious beliefs like “well if I ain’t a 19 year old multi-millionaire retired in Bali then I ain’t shit.”

In reality, if you look at real data and not reel bullshit (clever, and I guarantee you ChatGPT can’t come up with this shit!) you’ll quickly find that the average 30-year-old in the US:

That is not to say the average American 30-year-old is a failure. Given America’s wealth redistribution for poor to rich and the financial massacre on young people, they’re doing quite well. But it’s to show the true average, and not the algorithm-fabricated “norm” we buy into on socials.

I had to take a step back and say, “wait, fuck these people and their perfect (fake) lives on socials, I’m a success. And I’m showing up in real life, mistakes/flaws/failures and all.”

Ultimately, the idea is: if I show up to the arena, I succeeded. That is…

Anyways, I vow to only use social media for the network and messaging functions. No consumptions of highlight reels. Perhaps one day I’ll be off of the shit entirely. And don’t get me started on AI (perhaps a topic for another newsletter), but I did delete my ChatGPT account after learning OpenAI killed a guy (not the suicides the chatbot supported, but the company putting a hit on a guy, but anyways…).