[Quick Wins] Stop Fighting Yourself: A Simpler Path to Growth

Quick Wins is a series for short reads (1-3 min) that pack a big punch and provide outsized value.

I realized something…

Our unconscious behaviors, designed to protect us from past traumas, often backfire. They become habits that no longer serve us.

But when I try to remove these unhelpful behaviors, I find myself locked in an internal battle—a frustrating war of willpower that’s hard to win.

Then it hit me:

What if I could just remove the drive to do the behavior altogether? No internal war. No exhausting mental back-and-forth.

OKAY SO HOW?

Here’s a simple example of how this mind trick works, in physical form:

For six weeks, I practiced Buteyko breathwork twice daily. Over time, my breathing slowed naturally, even when I wasn’t thinking about it—whether I was working, sleeping, training, whatever.

The result? For the first time in my life, my fingernails grew out. I wasn’t unconsciously fucking with them anymore.

I wasn’t thinking about it.

There was no struggle of “don’t touch your nails!” followed by “shit, I did it again.”

The unconscious drive disappeared. No internal conflict at all.

Applications in Addictions, Self-Sabotage, and Personal Growth

So, CT, what exactly do your funky ass nails and some hippy breathing shit have to do with me leveling up?

Everything.

Think about it: We limit ourselves with vices like porn, social media, or alcohol.

We sabotage healthy relationships we *think* we want because deep down, we’re more comfortable with familiar but unhealthy patterns.

We fall short of our potential because our unconscious mind keeps replaying old patterns.

Instead of battling these behaviors, why not eliminate the need for them entirely?

• Porn addiction? It’s driven by an unfulfilling life void of purpose, connection, and excitement. Create an invigorating and socially connected life, and the desire to escape fades. No more streaks, relapses, or tactics to “trick” your brain.

• Relationship sabotage? It’s rooted in past wounds and the chaos of conditional love. Heal the initial wound, and the pull toward toxic dynamics disappears. No more arguments just to feel important, no more mistrust or jealousy.

When you heal the root cause, the behaviors vaporize.

No internal struggle. No addictive cycles of clean, relapse, repeat. No mind games.

Just good ole’ root-cause problem-solving, baby.

Thanks for reading,

CT

Medellin, Antioquia, Colombia | December 2024